Why he tells lies

Now that you know the most common things men lie about, it's important to recognize the signs he's lying. The use of self-soothing techniques such as ear tugging, neck touching, collar pulling, or mouth covering. It's important to trust your intuition. If it feels like something is off, that very well may be the case. That said, it's also important to avoid making drastic assumptions. As certified life and relationship coach Doren Weinstein explains , start by taking stock of his behavior under normal conditions.

You could try to ask them a series of simple questions and observe how they behave when they have no reason to lie. If you catch any of the aforementioned signs that signal he may be lying to you, confront the situation in a calm manner when you feel it's safe to do so. You know your relationship and your partner best, so no matter the circumstances, you'll know the best way to proceed.

Alan Roger Currie is a book author, dating coach, public speaker, and talk radio host. Follow him on Facebook for more. Sign in. Join YourTango Experts.

Expert Blog. Alan Roger Currie. Unfortunately for us, lying is pretty common in relationships. Subscribe to our newsletter. Has your level of intimacy changed recently? Are they gaslighting you, or cheating themselves?

Figuring out the why can help guide you to decide what to do next. The bottom line: Honesty is a healthier approach for a happy marriage. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Accuracy, confidence, and experiential criteria for lie detection through a videotaped interview. Front Psychiatry. Reading lies: nonverbal communication and deception.

Annu Rev Psychol. The eyes don't have it: Lie detection and neuro-linguistic programming. J Exp Psychol Gen. The brain adapts to dishonesty. Nat Neurosci. Increasing cognitive load to facilitate lie detection: The benefit of recalling an event in reverse order. Law Hum Behav. Commentary: Can ordinary people detect deception after all?

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Claiming falsely to have earned money for previous investors moves into the criminal realm. To maintain privacy, without asserting that right, is another reason why people may lie.

Another topic I will return to in my newsletter about trust. Some people lie for the sheer thrill of getting away with it, testing their unsuspected power. Many children will at some point lie to their parents simply to see if they can do it.

Some people do this all the time enjoying the power they obtain in controlling the information available to the target. Avoiding embarrassment is still another motive for some serious and many trivial lies. The child who claims the wet seat resulted from spilling a glass of water, not from wetting her pants is an example, if the child did not fear punishment for her failure, just embarrassment.

Avoiding embarrassment is relevant to many less serious lies that come under the rubric of lies-of-everyday-life. Very often people lie to get out of an awkward social situation.

In all of these instances the target does not expect to be told the truth, there is notification. But the impostor is a liar, as is the con man, because they are taking advantage of our expectation that we will be told the truth. In a perfect world, you and your partner would be super honest with each other about everything.

But in reality, you both probably fudge the truth a little here and there. However, that doesn't mean some of those whoppers can't be damaging.

It all depends on the lie and why you're telling it. But, of course, being able to trust your partner—and vice versa— is pretty important. Without trust, a relationship cannot grow in a healthy manner. The former is just as bad as lying about it, Cilona says.